ZOMG - Stop it! Using "ZOMG" as the prefix to a sarcastic comment is backwards and self-defeating! If you use it, you should stop jacking off to 4chan and try to get attracted to real human beings!
xD - More like 2 YEARS OLD, OK! Stop fucking using these god-awful faces after every sentence! Besides, SD cards are much better, I've got a 128 MB one and I can use it for both my Pocket PC and my digital camera.
<3 - Indie kids were fucking it up a great number of years before you came and fucked it up for the rest of us! You suck!
teh - I think it's spelled "the." Oh, you're trying to be funny? "The" is plenty funny. Try it some time, it's a barrel of laughs.
Remember, kids, the English language loves you and wants you back! It's really sorry, it didn't mean it! I think that's enough alienation for the day! Become angry at the Internet and comment away!