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09 December 2004 @ 10:48 am
Wah wah wah  
I'm not taken seriously.

That might be quite hard NOT to believe, if you're a reader of this journal. Online, although I'm not a total FYAD AMBASSADOR, I post some *silly!* stuff and troll around some *stupid!* messageboards. So right. Online, ha ha mood hilarity.

A majority of you don't really know me offline, though, to actually see the reason people enjoy being around me. Or, at least, I'd like to think they do. I've been told that I'm quite the cool kid in the real world, no matter how much I enjoy pissing everyone off on the INTERNET!!! internet

But still... it might be because I'm the big ol' straight white rich kid at Porter, but my circle of friends here, although they do see me goofing around now and then, don't really ever seem to feel like including me in anything. Actually, a lot of people here are my friends, but I'm not really THEIR friends. Know what I mean?

This really goes along with that girl that I tried asking out earlier this quarter. She's always searching for a boyfriend, she's always posting in her journal (of course, poetically and all that shit) how she wishes she could find someone! etc. etc. etc., but of course, when I come up and say "HEY LETS GO OUT" it's like ha ha you? But you're the jester!

I feel sometimes as if some people feel ashamed that they hang out with me (or I hang out with them). Maybe this is a feeling that everyone gets, and of course, there's ALWAYS the chance that it's just my bloated ego talking, but I really don't think I get enough recognition by those who are around me on a daily basis.

Granted, I said "AROUND ME ON A DAILY BASIS." I don't need any e-friends to back me up on this, because you, of course, have no idea.
 
 
 
ミルス。Seven-Colored Puppeteer of B u c u r e s t i.: Agrias - smile //michiru_mamamiluda on December 9th, 2004 10:58 am (UTC)
HAY SKIES OF ARCADIA?!
Jeffrey Carl Faden: Cucumbirdjeffreyatw on December 9th, 2004 11:05 am (UTC)
ok
ミルス。Seven-Colored Puppeteer of B u c u r e s t i.: lady chris - umm //michiru_mamamiluda on December 9th, 2004 11:08 am (UTC)
who wus it last nite, ur new goylfriend?!1

u dun lov meh anymore

goodbye
Jeffrey Carl Faden: BAD BOY BASS!! (DJ Remo-con MIX)jeffreyatw on December 9th, 2004 01:53 pm (UTC)
ミルス。Seven-Colored Puppeteer of B u c u r e s t i.: rosa gigantea - content //michiru_mamamiluda on December 9th, 2004 02:20 pm (UTC)
;_; you think i don't treat you right!!! i take offense!!!
Andyddrmallrat on December 9th, 2004 01:11 pm (UTC)
1)You ARE an awesome and cool guy, and I know theres a lot more to you than the funny guy.
2)Read my LJ a few days back. I know the exact feeling.
Philippe Eccentricus: applephilled2thebrim on December 9th, 2004 01:47 pm (UTC)
i dunno, you seemed enjoyable to be around the times i've seen ya. then again, that's only been 2 times...okay, i'll stop talking now.
beauseizure on December 9th, 2004 01:48 pm (UTC)
You are not dangerous or flashy enough. Your hallmark is your subtlety and stability, quiet intelligence, social realism -- a hard sell for a culture obsessed with oneupsmanship, padded résumés, and gold teeth.

I think if you were just a little more obvious about being as hard core as you actually are, if you censored yourself less in real life, made it clear that you have some edge, then people would be more overtly interested in you. But you'll also scare more people away.

But frankly I don't think there's anything wrong with you. I think people who don't see how fucking badass you are within 20 minutes of meeting you are looking for the wrong stuff.
Jeffrey Carl Fadenjeffreyatw on December 9th, 2004 01:52 pm (UTC)
Believe it or not, I was actually much more flashy... and basically more outgoing... last year. And I think I scared more people away. I think I'm having slightly better luck this year with new people, and the old ones that I'm mostly talking about sorta haven't adjusted to me being more amicable and down-to-earth.

Back at home, people liked me just the way I was.

I think my complaint I made is sorta weird, because I'm MOSTLY talking about the people I know offline, and how they think of me online... or just in private. (In lots of ways, it's seen as the same thing.)
soliloquial on December 9th, 2004 04:53 pm (UTC)
It's a shame that I can't base a valid opinion of you just from the attitude you've exemplified online, but from two people whom of which do know you in person when talking to them.

I will say one thing though, it seems fairly similar to what I already assumed of you.

That was several entries back when you asked people what your problem was that you could try to reflect on for change.
- sketchee on December 9th, 2004 05:10 pm (UTC) (Expand)
hellokaorihellokaori on December 9th, 2004 05:14 pm (UTC)
Dammit. And here I thought Santa Cruz was going to be a more welcoming environment. Join me at Reed?
Jeffrey Carl Fadenjeffreyatw on December 10th, 2004 10:20 am (UTC)
Wherever you go, it's going to be the same thing. Do you honestly think that a certain group of people is going to act a certain way just because they go to a certain school?

I'm NOT complaining about all the people at Santa Cruz, I'm complaining about some of the people I've met. If you think all people at Santa Cruz, or Reed, act all nice and welcoming, you've got a surprise coming. :P
hellokaorihellokaori on December 11th, 2004 08:10 pm (UTC)
I was speaking more about the general environment. Sheesh. "Rarr." (Does that little bitchy cat-scratch motion that people do when they think someone just said something uncalled-for.)
Jeffrey Carl Fadenjeffreyatw on December 11th, 2004 10:50 pm (UTC)
Sorry if that sounded too critical. I was just trying to make a point, not necessarily prove you wrong, as it were.
Voidlostsenshi on December 9th, 2004 05:15 pm (UTC)
Maybe i never include you in anything because you guys always go to dinner and lunch without asking me yea that makes me hate you
Robynrobynchick on December 13th, 2004 05:03 pm (UTC)
Yay straight white kids...