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29 June 2005 @ 08:09 pm
Anger!  
I'm tired of being used.

Yes, I volunteer to help people out. Yes, I like driving. Yes, I like paying for people. It's in my nature to be generous, since I was brought up that way and it makes me feel good.

I don't need gratitude. I DON'T NEED GRATITUDE. But I'd rather get nothing than just more requests for me to do this and that, and constant misunderstandings about what I'm doing with my life.

And I'm sure it goes without saying that the closer people are to me, the more it hurts when they treat me this way. I'd rather be neglected then cater to every will of people and then be ridiculed, or burdened even further.

Who wants to pick ME up to do something for a change? I don't think that's ever happened before.
 
 
 
The Tridecadal Koreanastralblue on June 30th, 2005 03:22 am (UTC)

That was my life up until a few years ago...  I hate it when friends talk to me mostly when they have something to ask me.  Even close friends too (or in fact, the ones that I thought were close friends; unrequited friendship = TEH SUCK).

But yeah, just come to the Fremont BART for my B-day bash, and I will pick you up along with Ayori, James and maybe Paolo too.  :)

Jeffrey Carl Fadenjeffreyatw on June 30th, 2005 03:25 am (UTC)
Heh. A BART ride might be a welcome change. Thanks.

Unrequited friendship is definitely the bane of my existence right now.
Germ Tall: uh...slownewsday on June 30th, 2005 04:00 am (UTC)
I don't know you, but I'd totally pick your shit up. I'll be in the Bay Area at the end of July. I have an SUV and abysmal taste in music (think euro club anthems).
嘉慧: hmm let's seechiahui on June 30th, 2005 04:32 am (UTC)
I'm tired of seeing my dad being used. And I'm tired of seeing my parents try to use my friends (esp. Kristi during the week she was staying in Santa Cruz with me).
big_fluffy01big_fluffy01 on June 30th, 2005 05:07 am (UTC)
I'll report from the other side of the fence. I hate using people. I do my best to return the kind things they do for me with love and care, but I feel like it's not enough, so after a while I just don't bother putting myself in a position where I have to use people for for things like rides. Unfortunately I need rides to places here, so I, in turn don't go out all that much.
big_fluffy01big_fluffy01 on June 30th, 2005 05:08 am (UTC)
Regardless, I'm sorry you're feeling used Jeffrey...it's definitely not one of the best feelings in the world to have.
Jeffrey Carl Fadenjeffreyatw on June 30th, 2005 05:12 am (UTC)
I can totally understand that. It's even a little bit of understanding like yours that would make it bearable, but I'm talking about people who are ungrateful.

I dunno Max, I think you show enough selflessness and appreciation to not have to feel like you're really using people...
chelseaisland_fae on June 30th, 2005 05:27 am (UTC)
Why do you say you don't need gratitude?

BTW, unrelated, but I love BART!!!!!!!! :-)
brandon johnsonpiratezim on June 30th, 2005 06:06 am (UTC)
if you come here i'll drive you about, as long as you aren't boring.
rtf on June 30th, 2005 06:23 am (UTC)
Sometimes I wonder why I'm NOT in that situation, that people don't usually turn to me for help or anything. It makes me feel like I'm incompetent or something, even though I know that usually isn't the cause. Example: I remember how in freshman year, everyone on the floor went to my roommate for tech support, not me. I was the secondary guy - and it certainly wasn't like my roommate was outgoing, he's probably the least conversational guy I've ever known and can usually end discussions with one sentence. Yet he was the one everyone wanted. Maybe they felt he needed to get out more.

Is it better to feel incompetent or to feel used, I wonder? (at least I have the anticipation of being kind in the future)
Andyddrmallrat on June 30th, 2005 12:47 pm (UTC)
I think I've driven you before! And I'd do it again. I can imagine how it is Jeffrey.
I think I can rationalize asking you for rides when I lived there with a few things:
1) I really like hanging out with you, and I know I'll get to do that if you're driving.
2)I didn't actually own a car of my own.
3)You were usually already giving someone in the area a ride.
I don't think I used you....did I? Is it real bad Now?
Jeffrey Carl Fadenjeffreyatw on June 30th, 2005 03:34 pm (UTC)
Okay, okay, no need to apologize. I'm obviously talking about more recent events. :P
hellokaorihellokaori on June 30th, 2005 09:01 pm (UTC)
Oh, if Shaun of the Dead was late, tell me and I'll reimburse you.
And I guess it's closing the barn door after the dead horse or something, but I can give you rides in my Ovlov whenever you feel like it ^_^ I like going for long rides, especially out in yonder countryside. We have a countryside, right? Anyway, we should hang out more often when I'm not mooching rides/movies off of you.