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30 August 2005 @ 08:17 am
Social mandate?  
My sister was telling me yesterday about this girl her age who was going around school gossipping about how she got "sooooo drunk" last weekend and was basically showing off to all her friends. Lily is pretty sure that it was the first time that this girl got drunk. What this girl is doing, at the age of 15, is furthering what I call a social mandate.

ALCOHOL IS NOT A NECESSARY PART OF A PERSON'S LIFE. It might sound weird to you, but it is not. Take a look at this comic. The person in the passenger's seat isn't Conrad. It's EVERYONE. It's fucking EVERYONE, INCLUDING YOU. What is Conrad, as a representation of EVERYONE, doing in this comic? He is also furthering a social mandate, which states that you must drink to be social. He's saying, you can't drop your boundaries or get rid of responsibility or enjoy life without alcohol. If you can't, then why do I do it all the time?

Fine, I'm condescending and taking a holier-than-thou position. Great. Let's start off by saying that I KNOW ABOUT ALCOHOL and I have GOTTEN DRUNK BEFORE. Yes, it made me feel "loose"-er and did everything that alcohol is supposed to do. Was it a necessary element in socializing with those around me? I would have even said "no" if you came up to me at the time(s) and asked me.

But here come more people that are like "oh hey, party time, let's find someone to get us alcohol." I've been a chauffeur many a time in the past, driving my friends around to make use of someone who is of drinking age. Okay maybe the drinking-age people don't really mind enabling people my age - I don't care about the legality, I think a "drinking age" is a dumb rule in a few respects - but still, I can barely stand the fact that people are being used just to gain access to alcohol so the real fun can begin. "We GOTTA get drunk before we can socialize!"

WHO SAYS? The people around you say. Everyone's saying the same thing. Everyone else is drunk, so you've got to get drunk to have fun. By thinking this, YOU'RE the one who is furthering this social mandate. What's worse, alcohol has to be an integral part of courtship in our society - I mean, it HAS to be - because if you're not drunk and the other person is, it's rape. You definitely don't want that to happen, so you HAVE to get drunk so the feeling is mutual. Why don't more people see something wrong with this?

I hope this gives enough reason why I don't drink for fun and why you don't have to either. Besides, most of that shit tastes awful.

Before you say "wow Jeffrey I really respect you, you can handle so much, etc. etc." please look at this comic again. I've heard it. It doesn't mean anything. If you really respected me and saw my viewpoint then maybe you'd try to change something about yourself.
big_fluffy01big_fluffy01 on August 30th, 2005 03:52 pm (UTC)
I don't think I could agree any more with you than I do now.
The Tridecadal Koreanastralblue on August 30th, 2005 04:39 pm (UTC)

I'm on my way to work, so I gotta make this short for now...

It's not about what alcohol is supposed to do to you.  It's about what you do under influence of alcohol.  Drinking before doesn't necessarily mean, in that sense, that you have explored all the possibilities of what you can do with alcohol.  You have done whatever you chose to do with alcohol, and you can't project your own way to other people simply because “you've done it before” -- chances are, it is not true.

I can say this because I come from a country with a different drinking culture.  Does alcohol affect me differently because my body is in the geographic region of South Korea?  Nope.  It's what people do with the alcohol, not the other way around.

Jeffrey Carl Fadenjeffreyatw on August 30th, 2005 07:21 pm (UTC)
The only reason I mentioned that I did it before was just so people weren't quick to judge. In all honesty, it doesn't matter - we're not talking about specifics here, we're talking about a general topic.
- astralblue on August 30th, 2005 08:36 pm (UTC) (Expand)
- astralblue on August 30th, 2005 08:52 pm (UTC) (Expand)
- jeffreyatw on August 30th, 2005 09:32 pm (UTC) (Expand)
- astralblue on August 30th, 2005 09:55 pm (UTC) (Expand)
- jeffreyatw on August 30th, 2005 10:09 pm (UTC) (Expand)
- astralblue on August 30th, 2005 10:26 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Andrew West Hortonpiratepower on August 30th, 2005 05:01 pm (UTC)
A-fucking-men to that.

I just got out of a relationship with a girl who was considerably younger than me, and it seemed like the rage with all of her friends was to get fucked up at parties, then get taken advantage of and feel horrible, then go out and do it again the next night.

I'm almost 22 now, don't drink often because of personal reasons, and frankly, I think I have enough of a personality and enough self-confidence that I don't need to be fucked up to talk to people.
こんとんkay0ss on August 31st, 2005 12:32 am (UTC)
Me too. Shooooooooooot.
ミルス。Seven-Colored Puppeteer of B u c u r e s t i.: Rukia - death is an art //flyingteapotmiluda on August 30th, 2005 05:07 pm (UTC)
Good thing you're not talking about me! HURR HURR
brandon johnsonpiratezim on August 30th, 2005 05:32 pm (UTC)
i've seen the bad side of getting drunk, i.e., my suitemate sharing the contents of his stomach with my bathroom (and then not cleaning it for 6 hours)

rtf on August 30th, 2005 06:20 pm (UTC)
It's cause people are wimps that like quick fixes to social problems.
Andyddrmallrat on August 30th, 2005 06:44 pm (UTC)
Well, let me first start off by saying that I agree that alcohol use is a problem amongst...well, everyone.
That having been said, I drink. Often? Not really. Certainly not everytime I socalize. Maybe once a week, at most. There are too many things about alcohol that make it a second choice to, well, my preference. But I'll get into that in a second.
Drinking for me was never that social of an activity. I mean, I don't do it on my own by myself, but I never felt I needed it. It was usually more like "hey, I'm in the privacy of ___'s house, we have some alcohol, and it can be pretty fun to play drinking games or something and bond with friends.
Yea, I said it, alcohol can help you bond with friends. And it's not nearly as shallow as you'd think.
A few weeks ago me and my hands-down two best friends here Cheyne and Charlie went to Cheynes with a bunch of Mickeys (and oh yea I used to agree with you about the taste but I guarantee it's an acquired taste)and got...wasted. we didn't do it to go out and cause trouble, or drive somewhere, or so we could fuck ugly chicks without remorse. But what we did do is go outside, sit under the stars on a hammock, and be more open and honest with each other than ever before. We all learned things about each other and ourselves that really really strengthened our friendship.
Could it have happened without alcohol? Perhaps, but I don't think it would've been the same.
My last point is that marijuana is a much better drug than alcohol. Less side effects, no hangover, lowering of inhibitions but you still retain your judgement. And theres no such thing as marijuana poisining. Furthermore, it is a very social drug that lends itself to many situations. I'll be honest, I smoke almost every day. But it's focus for me has shifted to a more 'nothing-better-to-do' mindset. And I can go without it. And I have. And most of the time I don't buy it. But I digress. My point is, in the stoner subculture there exsists a system of respect, but at the same time, equality. If I may extend this already long comment, let me give you an example (and it may seem rediculous and you may laugh, but this comes straight out of the pages of many peoples lives,including mine).
So, your sitting around your friends (person A) room, person B is showing off their new pipe, person C has some weed, and person D is person B's girlfriend. Well, naturally, a bowl is packed, and the rotation begins. Now, it's customary to just go in a circle (often clockwise) but another scenario is that person C will go first, they have the most essential factor to the equation, then B, then A, then D. You never skip someone unless they ask to be skipped. You don't sit on it too long (camping, to lend a word from CS),and you don't take 2 hits.
I don't really know what my point is other than to give you some insight as to why I believe marijuana is a better social drug than alcohol,and thus it is my preference.
And oh yes, I respect you and such (really, I do).
(Anonymous) on October 16th, 2005 07:17 am (UTC)
why the fuck do you write like that
justin zthebossjustin on August 30th, 2005 06:51 pm (UTC)
Yeah I throughly enjoyed that comic. It was one of my faves in CAR.
W.syn_zero on August 30th, 2005 07:32 pm (UTC)
Yeah, I agree with everything you said concerning alcohol and socializing. When I was still in high school drinking and smoking were considered the "cool" things to do when you were out with friends on a Friday night, and I think partly because of the media college was also portrayed as a time when all you did was drink, smoke, and do drugs.

I don't think there's anything wrong with experimenting with any of those things if you're interested, but it shouldn't be something you need to do just to hang out with friends.

Heh, and then there's the whole stereotype that all writers are alcoholics because they write more interesting things when they're drunk.
Meredith Grangranulac on August 30th, 2005 07:45 pm (UTC)
Kids in high school who drink alcohol are doing something because it's rebellious, not because it's great. Every teenager/college kid does something like this, whether it entails listening to rap music, dying their hair green, or, to add another level, rebelling AGAINST rebellion.

That's what I did. In high school I thought drugs and alcohol and anybody who did them were retarded, but for the most part I also lacked social experience and really solid, close friends (this is meant to relate solely to me, of course). Later on I discovered that drinking and smoking were just nice things to do with friends, similar to bowling, seeing movies, chilling at diners, etc. Except that you can combine drinking/smoking with any of those things!

It's just fun. If you NEED these things to have fun then you're probably a pretty boring person. But damn if it ain't fun.
Sumezsumez on August 30th, 2005 10:28 pm (UTC)
People drinking to be rebellious.. That's REALLY awkward. I hate your country.
Sumezsumez on August 30th, 2005 10:28 pm (UTC)
Comment spam time (I think)

This is what I, Conrad and everyone says: "It's fun to drink!" or "Alcohol lets you have more fun!"
This is what you and other people who don't drink refuse to hear nothing but: "you must drink to be social" and "you can't drop your boundaries or get rid of responsibility or enjoy life without alcohol"

There's a fucking difference.

I think the whole problem is in your country's collective view on alcohol as something evil that young people should avoid doing (a drinking age of 21 is absolutely insane!), which gives it a drug like status, and promotes the behaviour that kawakiwikiwa writes about up there. Which is a total misinterpretion of alcohol. It should be something natural. Something which lets you easen up more in the company of others. A culturally good thing, not an evil.
Sumezsumez on August 30th, 2005 10:30 pm (UTC)
I don't have a problem with people who don't drink, I have a problem with people who think they are better people because they don't drink. The whole "Well ---I--- can have fun WITHOUT drinking!" thing.
- astralblue on August 30th, 2005 10:45 pm (UTC) (Expand)
- jeffreyatw on August 30th, 2005 10:53 pm (UTC) (Expand)
- astralblue on August 30th, 2005 11:04 pm (UTC) (Expand)
- jeffreyatw on August 30th, 2005 11:26 pm (UTC) (Expand)
- astralblue on August 30th, 2005 11:45 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Philippe Eccentricus: yeah well...whateverphilled2thebrim on August 30th, 2005 11:50 pm (UTC)
well, you know i don't drink now. but when i did drink, it wasn't for the whole social thing. i drank for the sake of drinking, as did a lot of people i knew then. it was a whole getting drunk thing, not a social lubricant. not that i'm trying to justify it or anything. but that's how it was. ::shrug::
Asyasimplycynical on August 31st, 2005 01:18 am (UTC)
With complete respect to all y'all who like to drink and use other random mind-shutting substances.
You know, back in the day, the (large majority of) black slaves drank themselves into complete oblivion every holiday they had. Two reasons for that: to escape from their (obviously harsh) reality and because their masters provided the alcohol. Keep drinking, people. Someone has to work at McDonalds and do my house cleaning someday.
The Tridecadal Koreanastralblue on August 31st, 2005 01:21 am (UTC)
Re: With complete respect to all y'all who like to drink and use other random mind-shutting substanc

No, I'd rather ascend way up the social ladder and fill up the basement of my vacation home with all sorts of rare wines and whiskeys. :p

chelsea: look upisland_fae on August 31st, 2005 02:36 am (UTC)

Niether is the Internet. Niether is AIM. Niether is music. Niether is TV. Niether is eating MEAT!!

I don't quite know what I'm getting at. Thing is, you have a really good arguement. I don't have a very good counter arguement. I just figured I'd comment like everyone else.... does that further the social mandate of commenting?
chelsea: puppy loveisland_fae on August 31st, 2005 02:38 am (UTC)
lol. i just spelled neither wrong 5 times. I KNEW I DID IT!! I KNEW IT LOOKED WRONG!

1)open mouth
2)insert foot.
- jeffreyatw on August 31st, 2005 02:40 am (UTC) (Expand)
- island_fae on August 31st, 2005 02:53 am (UTC) (Expand)
haleyhome_grownhalo on August 31st, 2005 05:16 am (UTC)
drinking spoils all the fun.