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14 February 2008 @ 09:37 am
Update  
My stepmom died early this morning. My sister's blog has an obituary.
 
 
 
こんとんkay0ss on February 14th, 2008 05:54 pm (UTC)
My condolensces :/
ミルス。Seven-Colored Puppeteer of B u c u r e s t i.miluda on February 14th, 2008 05:57 pm (UTC)
It just seemed like it all happened in a few weeks, and well, it pretty much did.

I think someone needs to look into what happened at that company, if she isn't alone in getting cancer like this.

My condolences, Jeffrey and Lily
Things could always be worse.lildogg on February 14th, 2008 09:39 pm (UTC)
Yeah, my dad is skeptical to do any research about why this happened, but I'm determined to find out. It doesn't make any sense. There has to be a reason.
ミルス。Seven-Colored Puppeteer of B u c u r e s t i.miluda on February 15th, 2008 03:46 am (UTC)
Her body was very healthy, it doesn't make any sense why it would spread as quickly as it did (unless her body was fighting it off for such a long while and that's why there wasn't too much of a noticeable change?)

I would like to know the outcome, if the relation of that company really did affect what happened today.
Jeffrey Carl Fadenjeffreyatw on February 15th, 2008 03:49 am (UTC)
Just some clarification: Betty was self-employed but worked in a small office complex. It's at least 30 years old (since she'd been working there for that long), so there is a chance that something went wrong with it.
ミルス。Seven-Colored Puppeteer of B u c u r e s t i.miluda on February 15th, 2008 03:50 am (UTC)
Who caught the connection with the other people who died recently? Did the co-workers talk about it or something?
Jeffrey Carl Fadenjeffreyatw on February 15th, 2008 03:51 am (UTC)
No idea, first I ever heard of it was from Lily's blog.

Edited at 2008-02-15 03:51 am (UTC)
..let.go..beloveddoll on February 14th, 2008 06:46 pm (UTC)
Your family is in my thoughts, Jeffrey.
amb☆rbobsyouruncle on February 14th, 2008 08:21 pm (UTC)
absolutely heartbreaking. i'm really, really sorry.
Meredith Grangranulac on February 14th, 2008 08:56 pm (UTC)
Best wishes to your family, Jeffrey.
Voidlostsenshi on February 14th, 2008 09:23 pm (UTC)
big hugs my dear
brandon johnsonpiratezim on February 15th, 2008 12:07 am (UTC)
well good that it didn't drag on, extending that period of dying usually only makes people feel worse. You should try to help your dad out now though.
Jeffrey Carl Fadenjeffreyatw on February 15th, 2008 12:52 am (UTC)
People keep telling me I should try to help him out, but I really don't know what I could be doing. I'm a few states away, working on my master's degree, and I will be home for the funeral. I call him up and keep up to date.

Am I missing something for my situation?
ミルス。Seven-Colored Puppeteer of B u c u r e s t i.miluda on February 15th, 2008 03:48 am (UTC)
I think people just mean to be nice to your dad and support him because he could be feeling worse than he seems.
Jeffrey Carl Fadenjeffreyatw on February 15th, 2008 03:50 am (UTC)
I can only imagine. I haven't ever heard him cry so much - in fact, the last time I remember was during their wedding 10 years ago.

Barring other opportunities, I'm planning on living in the Bay Area over the summer, and if that's the case, I'll be around Dad for at least a few months. Lily's still there until the end of the summer too, so at least he has companionship until then.
ミルス。Seven-Colored Puppeteer of B u c u r e s t i.miluda on February 15th, 2008 03:53 am (UTC)
I'm not sure if him being alone in that big house after the summer is up is a good idea, maybe he should take some time off and go on a vacation after summer?
Jeffrey Carl Fadenjeffreyatw on February 15th, 2008 03:58 am (UTC)
The remark about the big house is true. I don't think that's going to be where Dad lives for too much longer. These are future plans once everything else has settled down, but it is certain that he won't be able to maintain a property that large by himself.

The plans were, of course, that Lily or I would eventually inherit the house, but obviously a large amount of the will is going to change.

My dad goes on business trips - in fact, he is planning on going to St. Petersburg at the end of March, which, when Betty's cancer was found, he thought he'd have to cancel, but she died much more quickly than expected, so plans are back on - but that's mostly what they are. Having gone on a number of vacations with Betty, tourism certainly won't be as fulfilling.
ミルス。Seven-Colored Puppeteer of B u c u r e s t i.miluda on February 15th, 2008 04:02 am (UTC)
It was recently renovated in certain areas, it would be a bit sad to give it up (if he were to sell it)

Oh, right, he goes to a lot of places... I'm not sure what he could do to relax. The house seems scary and lonesome, vacations aren't anything new; I think he needs something big to distract him for a little.
Jeffrey Carl Fadenjeffreyatw on February 15th, 2008 04:05 am (UTC)
Ironically, workers finished construction either today or yesterday (yes, they continued to work while Betty was dying, because a lot of people were coming and going to say goodbye).

The room they finished renovating was meant to be Betty's Feldenkrais studio, but now with that having no purpose, a guest room which used to be my bedroom, and Lily eventually vacating her room as well, the house is especially imposing.

Edited at 2008-02-15 04:06 am (UTC)
ミルス。Seven-Colored Puppeteer of B u c u r e s t i.miluda on February 15th, 2008 04:09 am (UTC)
Still, I'm quite surprised at her rate of deterioration, Lily's blog covered a good week or so prior to today where she was still up and walking around...

I don't understand the difference between her being cared by workers in your own home or being in the hospital? Was there a difference?

Edit: Saw your edit, and yes, that is quite ironic...

Edited at 2008-02-15 04:10 am (UTC)
Jeffrey Carl Fadenjeffreyatw on February 15th, 2008 04:19 am (UTC)
She was at home to die, because there was no cure. The hospital would simply prolong her life through feeding tubes or whatever, but that's not really what Betty wanted. So she was just cared for - kept clean and comfortable - until she died.,
ミルス。Seven-Colored Puppeteer of B u c u r e s t i.miluda on February 15th, 2008 08:20 am (UTC)
I see, that's understandable.
Josephloccster on February 16th, 2008 12:26 am (UTC)
Vacations can actually add stress rather than take it away.
K0LDk0ld_x on February 15th, 2008 03:01 am (UTC)
You and your family will be in my prayers, Jeff. You have my deepest condolences.
Things could always be worse.lildogg on February 15th, 2008 03:17 pm (UTC)
A way to help Dad (and help me help dad): Think of things a single 60 year old guy can do to enjoy himself that don't necessarily involve dating. He's already telling me how lonely he is. I'll be gone Saturday-Tuesday and he broke down crying saying "I'll miss you." :(
Josephloccster on February 16th, 2008 12:31 am (UTC)
When really bad shit has happened to me and I was too down to really enjoy myself I would smoke pot. It let me enjoy the music I was listening to, and it allowed me to eat. My dad is in his 50's, a successful guy, and he smokes. Its not the worst idea in the world. I mean, there's really nothing that's going to make your dad feel better, I bet, so all that crap about the "right" way to mourn goes out the door when your desperate to feel better.
嘉慧: I want to be a prince.chiahui on February 15th, 2008 07:29 pm (UTC)
*hug*
paolo.radpaolo on February 17th, 2008 06:48 pm (UTC)
sorry about being late to the party, but, you know your family are in my thoughts through this time. you know where to find me.